I first received the inspiration to begin writing this book many years ago. On October 1, 1993 I lost my sister to breast cancer. Kay died at the age of forty-two. While looking through her belonging-diaries, journals, books, and Bibles … everything that had impacted her life spiritually, I realized that her writings, her spiritual discoveries, would deeply affect me also.
Amongst her keepsakes, I found a folder with eighteen typed pages entitled, The Deliverance. As I began to read the pages, tears flowed down my face. She was telling our story of my deliverance. As I continued on with the story, I sensed it wasn’t finished. When I laid the manuscript down, there was a divine pause. The Lord spoke clearly and precisely within my spirit, “I want you to finish it.” I went right to my “Moses routine, “… “ You got the wrong guy, Lord! I hated English class. I dropped out of English when they told me I had to write a five hundred word paper.” I knew I would do it, but it was so hard. I continued to hear it from different sources, “Write the book, “ … “Write it!” I procrastinated on every occasion, but the Lord was patient.
Finally, my business went through some economic challenges. I was listening to one of Keith Green’s tapes in which he made the statement, “God will get your attention through your economy if He has to.” I went on a Daniel Fast to quiet all the other voices, including my own lazy flesh. The instruction was again clear and precise, “The next season of your life won’t start until you write the book.” One of my favorite scriptures, Isaiah 1:19, confirmed the word; “If you are willing and obedient to the instruction the Lord speaks and impresses on you.
As you read, you will encounter some sections where Kay and I demonstrated a particular attitude about being Spirit-filled. I feel I need to apologize for this attitude. Please remember that her words are from thirty years ago, and some of mine are from then years ago. We both allowed spiritual pride to manifest in some of the things we said and did. I could have edited them, but because it is such a pure capsule of the times, I left it in its original form. We all go through the maturing process, and I am grateful that the Lord took me beyond those attitudes and into truth. Please read through eyes of love and realize that I have grown in God since that time. There is never any inclination to be a respecter of persons through whatever spiritual experiences you have had – or haven’t had.
I would also like to explain why the first part of this book is written in a style similar to a book written in 1949 by Peter Marshall, Mr. Jones Meet the Master. This book spoke to me as a young teenager. I remember on numerous occasions thinking, “God is talking directly to me.” I want you to sense and know His Omnipresence. He knows who you are, what you are thinking, and is longing for you to get to know Him the way He knows you.
You will notice emphasis on certain words and phrases; they will be a connection point between your life experiences and the God of the Universe. They are there to assure you He has always been there through every part of your life. He has always had your best interest at heart. Nothing has gone unnoticed; nothing has taken Him by surprise. You can’t do anything that would ever make Him stop loving you.
I remember on one occasion lying on the couch listening to music with Casey Kasem Top Forty. My thought had returned to God. Was He real? What was He like? Does He talk to anybody and everybody, or just to preachers? I had no idea. Then a song came on, “You don’t know how much I love you, but I love you like a son. I long to wrap my arms around you, and run, run, run away.” That was His answer to me. “ I love you. You are my son. I want to embrace you and protect you. I want you to experience my security and protection.” Even though I was not aware of this kind of love, I did know that I wanted to respond to it.
The next song lyrics were, “You are the magnet. I am the steel.” I was being drawn to know Him. In healthy relationships, there are honest, open, “no walls” exchange that lead to intimacy. Like all of us, I was afraid of that level of communication and commitment. I would run away for years at a time, then I would come to my senses because of some trial. His mercy and kindness would always welcome me back.
As you read this story, find yourself in it. Let this be your prayer:
(For my determined purpose) is that I may know Him (that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly), and that I may in that some way come to know the power out flowing from His resurrection, and the fellowship of His suffering, being made conformable unto His death.
– Philippians 3:10 AMP
“We overcome by the blood of the Lamb, the word of our testimony, and we love not our lives unto death.”
– Revelations 12:11
This is my testimony. I hope you receive something from it that blesses your life. If nothing else, perhaps you will be inspired to write a book of your own that helps you discover your own story in a new and powerful way.